Bisexual

By Rory Winston

”Where is all that fervour and fever? Spill it onto the page,” comes the eternal rebuke from the tormented narrator of Shaping Scars. But, luckily, both fervour and fever do one better for the Poet/Actress, Fern Beattie, as they spill from her mouth onto the landscape of contemporary dance, bursting between the frames of an art film –one that washes over the viewer like the disavowed tears of our own frustrated and frustrating affairs.

Directed by London-based Hungarian graphic designer and filmmaker Sholtay, Shaping Scars lives up to its title. While its monologue attests to unrequited love’s slit-your-wrist moments, its choreography evokes the balmy moments of close proximity and the temporary scabs that form. Of course, both words and dance seem to agree on one thing: when those scabs do inevitably reopen, the wounds are more painful than ever. And they are twice as likely to leave a permanent scar.  Still, while all this heal and tear is going on in dialogue and dance, the film’s sensibility remains one of romantic reminiscence. It is a cinematic work whose sensibility manages to reshape each nick, gash and scar into an aesthetic object to be relished over time.

Playing the femme fatale of a lesbian duo, dancer Fanni Eszterhazy elicits an emotional duality – she is superficially powerful but internally frail, she is an ice queen born of a wallflower. This while the passionate and needy lover, dancer Mariann Hargital, does her best to undermine her aloof demeanor by trying to make sense of it for her and analyzing what may have gone wrong between them in an attempt to salvage their relationship.

Although Hargitai is undoubtedly representing Beattie herself, Lajos Peter Turi’s insistent and unremitting choreography, together with Hargitai’s powerful presence as a dancer, makes us wonder what if anything would survive of Eszterhazy’s character were she to give in and stay. Reminiscent of works by Talia Favia for Mather Dance Company, Turi’s choreography constructs a vocabulary based on exaggerated versions of everyday human gestures. But what starts out as movements within the control of those employing them to express things soon evolves into a language that redefines its speakers, making them no more than subservient tools to sentences that have begun to live their own lives independent of the intended message.

Despite words to the contrary, the viewer is also convinced that few characters are strong enough to inhabit a world with someone as unforgivingly analytical and aware as Hargitai. Beattie’s petition-cum-lambaste-gone-lament is a vortex of poetic imagery and analysis. Listening to her speak to her lover is a verbal equivalent of watching Swan Lake’s Odile (played by Maya Plisetskaya, no less) doing an endless series of virtuoso level fouettés in a vain attempt to communicate with a down-to-earth Merce Cunningham dancer. After Beattie’s torrent of clever phrases and cutting insights, it is clear that Eszterhazy’s character is promised just about everything were she to stay except, of course, a moment to breathe or think.

With the help of the DP (Andras Kiss Gravi) and the editor (Csilla Zsely), Shotay achieves a soft fluid phrasing that is a dance of its own. It finds gentle beauty in abusive moments, quiescence in the midst of a war, sublime in the otherwise overstated. In a very clever way, Shotay undermines pathos by sporadically giving us glimpses of the narrator’s presence – these asides are a solid reminder that what we’re watching is a subjective version of history, a story that has been filtered through the writer’s own scars. Had Shotay allowed for a bit more divergence between the film and the story, we easily could have been left pondering if the two struggling dancers were no more than different parts of the same person.

Remaining faithful to the intentions of even the best authors doesn’t always serve the best interests of a film. Still, despite any minor shortcoming, the film manages to sustain tension while giving us frozen moments of true beauty. Slated for screening at the LGBT Toronto Film Festival as part of Pride Toronto as well as at the Los Angeles Dance Shorts Film Festival, Shaping Scars is starting to gain some well-deserved traction. The diverse talents responsible for this attention have in their own idiosyncratic way shown both flourish and finesse in their given fields. I have little doubt that each of them will go on to forge their personal experiences (both good and bad) into the beautifully shaped scars known as art. When it comes to fervor and fever, Shaping Scars – a short film that clocks in at just under 7 minutes – has ample amounts of both.

More about the Film Director

More about the Film Company

Entire Film:

Yes, that’s Justin Trudeau – the entire globe’s sweetheart – and Emanuel Macron (one of the most popular politicians of the year) taking a sunny stroll through some picturesque gardens.

The pair are in Italy for the G7 summit, and they took the opportunity to get to know each other a little better.

L'amitié franco-canadienne a un nouveau visage. @JustinTrudeau, à nous de relever les défis de notre génération ! #G7Taormina pic.twitter.com/8EdQopviov

— Emmanuel Macron (@EmmanuelMacron) May 26, 2017

There was never a lightbulb moment in which I realized, “Hey! I’m bisexual!” I actually spent several years with a growing sense that something about me wasn’t quite the norm.

It wasn’t until I started reading fan fiction in earnest that the knowledge sort of snuck up on me … I wasn’t heterosexual. Limiting my sexual interest to a single gender felt completely unnatural to me, so why should I keep faking it?

I decided to own the label when I went off to grad school—I’d simply introduce myself to new people as bi in the first place.

OK—no, I didn’t lead off with, “Hi, my name is Rebecca and I’m bisexual. How are you?” That would have labeled me as weird for a completely different reason! But I did make sure the topic arose early on in my interactions with new friends to present it as a simple fact about me—no different from my favorite color.

Little did they realize—I hope—how difficult it was for me to be so casual, how monumental our everyday conversation was to me. Eventually, after I sweated through the first few conversations, it stopped freaking me out so much.

New acquaintances were one thing—family was a much bigger issue to tackle. I promised myself if I ever started seriously dating a girl, I wouldn’t hide it. But same-sex relationships with slippery lines between friendship and romance proved to be a greater challenge than I anticipated. I put it off and put it off and put it off … and then I got married.

Hurrah! Problem solved. I ended up with a man, so the subject would never have to come up.

Except … the subject never did come up and it felt wrong. It felt wrong to lie by omission—to enter into political arguments with family members who had no idea the stakes were so personal to me. It felt wrong to be two different me’s—to monitor everything I said when visiting family. And it felt very wrong to raise my daughter to believe I’m something I’m not. I knew I would eventually want to tell her and making it a secret to be revealed implied that it was something to be ashamed of.

I’m not ashamed. I’m just one me. I’m bisexual—and I’m talking about it.

As you read this article, my family members are reading with you. Today is the day I stop hiding. I know there will be confusion and so many questions. I created this list of anticipated questions because I wanted to address these issues from the beginning. Let’s start talking together.

Here are some questions and answers for those who might not yet understand.

1. But … you’re married … to a man.

Yes! I am married to a wonderful man. Since I am attracted to men and women, I am free to marry either—thanks, Supreme Court! It happens to be a man in my case.

2. Does being married to a man mean you’re not bisexual anymore?

Being bisexual is a part of my identity and it didn’t disappear when I got married. I continue to find women attractive, because that’s how my body and brain work.

3. So, do you secretly have crushes on your female friends?

Just as straight women are able to have friendships with men that don’t involve sex, queer women are able to have friendships with women that don’t involve sex. I’m not attracted to every person I see—being bisexual simply means that I don’t automatically rule anyone out due to their gender.

4. Wait, I thought we weren’t supposed to say “queer.”

At one time, “queer” was used as a slur, but the LGBTQ community has largely embraced and reclaimed the term. Many of us find it to be the best way to describe a sexual identity “out of the norm.”

The best way to know how to refer to someone is to ask them how they self-identify. I do identify as queer, so it’s just fine to use that word with me.

5. Does your husband know?

My husband has known I’m bisexual since the day we met and it has never been an issue for us. He has also been part of my decision to come out now. I couldn’t ask for better emotional support.

6. Does being bisexual mean you cheat on your husband?

My husband and I made a commitment to each other and I would never break that commitment.

Bisexual people aren’t “naturally promiscuous” any more than straight people, but we get slapped with the assumption that no matter which gender we are with, we’re probably cheating on that person with someone from the other gender. That’s not how this works. My sexual identity has nothing to do with keeping the vows of my marriage.

7. Do we have to talk about your sexuality next time I see you? Should I avoid the topic?

That’s up to you. I would be very happy to answer any questions you have. This isn’t a shameful secret you need to avoid mentioning. It may come up in conversation or it may not. If we start discussing the SCOTUS decision to allow gay marriage, it’s going to come up.

8. What will we tell our kids who know you?

I hope you tell them, “Rebecca has let us know that she’s bisexual. Let’s talk about what that means and what questions you may have.” Children are extra welcome to ask me questions and you don’t need to be embarrassed by what they might say.

If you choose not to say anything to them, just understand that I will not be hiding this part of myself if it arises in conversation.

9. But homosexuality is a sin—the Bible says so.

First, the Bible is written and interpreted by humans, thus it’s one centuries-long game of “Telephone.” Many people disagree on the Bible’s “official stance” on homosexuality and I don’t personally ascribe to the interpretation that it’s forbidden.

Second, even if I were to agree with that interpretation—I’m not a religious person. I don’t make my decisions based on the Bible and I don’t think our country should either. If you attempt to shame me from a religious perspective—the conversation will be unproductive.

10. But sexual lives are private—why do you feel the need to bring this up?

I wrestled with that question for a very long time. I’ve known I was bisexual since college, so that’s almost 15 years of not being my full self in all situations. I’m speaking up now because I think it’s very important that my family and friends understand that they know someone who’s queer.

When you discuss “gay issues,” you aren’t talking about “those people”—you’re talking about me. This isn’t a philosophical or political issue that can be debated from a distance—this is my life. It’s my sincere hope that this action will prompt even one person to pause and look at these issues from a more personal perspective.

I also find it increasingly important that my daughter understands who I am. I don’t ever want to “come out” to her—I want her to grow up knowing me fully and my orientation will just be another normal part of my identity. No matter what orientation she adopts as she gets older, I want for her to understand the amazing spectrum that exists in this world. I want her to love and be loved period—everybody’s in.

This article was originally published at Ravishly. Reprinted with permission from the author.

Bermuda legalized same-sex marriage yesterday after a  Supreme Court case.

Winston Godwin and his Canadian fiancé, Greg DeRoche fought for the right to get married on the British island territory.

Puisne Judge Charles-Etta Simmons said in the ruling: The current marriage act is ‘inconsistent with the provisions of the Human Rights Act as they constitute deliberate different treatment on the basis of sexual orientation,’

‘The applicants are entitled to an Order of Mandamus compelling the Registrar to act in accordance with the requirements of the Marriage Act and a Declaration that same-sex couples are entitled to be married under the Marriage Act 1944.

Godwin said: ‘The ruling today is more than me and pieces of paper. It’s more than any of that, it is what it means for Bermuda moving forward.

The pop legend  will be honored by Billboard Magazine  with its Icon Award at the Billboard Music Awards on 21 May.

The award ‘recognizes lifetime achievement and an artist’s remarkable and enduring contribution to popular music.’

Congrats to Cher!

Cher Is About To Receive 2017 Billboard Icon Award For Her Career

Brad Pitt has finally opened up about himself and his divorce from Angelina Jolie after a long time.

‘I’ve been listening to a lot of Frank Ocean,’ Pitt tells GQ Style in a new cover story.

‘I find this young man so special. Talk about getting to the raw truth. He’s painfully honest. He’s very, very special. I can’t find a bad one.’

‘I just got R&B for the first time. R&B comes from great pain, but it’s a celebration,’ he said. ‘To me, it’s embracing what’s left.’

Now that Amy and Goldie have a movie together they have decided to stand up for the LGBT community together.

“Being an ally for [LGBTQ] people and an ally for all people, transgender or whatever ― to me, that’s a human story. I feel there are injustices in the world that I’ll stand up for, and I think that it’s important to realize that the world is filled with these kinds of issues,” Hawn, 71, said. “Love is something in the heart and in the mind, so why would you chastise anyone for that? And this is something that I feel very strongly about.”

Lady Gaga returned to the Coachella Valley this weekend for a second set . When  she started  “Edge of Glory,” she dedicated the song to Sonja Durham, her friend and former assistant who is battling stage 4 cancer.